


Bodhi - If no-one sees your skin, does it matter what it looks like?

by Munnin



Series: Rogue One Cycle [19]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Emotional Scarring, M/M, Mention of established relationships, physical scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 22:26:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9093163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munnin/pseuds/Munnin
Summary: Jyn walks in on Bodhi naked and is alarmed by what she sees.





	

“Okay.” Cassian nodded, turning to the soldiers. “We don’t have long to prep. Gear up, grab anything that isn’t nailed down. Go!”

Bodhi watched the soldiers scatter, purposeful now the decision had been made. And it had been made, hadn’t it? Their path was set now.

Scarif. He’d been there a few times. A beautiful place. All those beaches and all that water.

But this time it wouldn’t be like that.

He turned back to the ship, watching Jyn and Cassian out of the corner of his eye. Cassian’s betrayal giving way to trust as they quip. Something about home that made Jyn smile.

Good. She deserved to smile. Bodhi just wished Galen had seen her like that. Smiling. Not fearless but resolved. Steady.

He was so lost in that thought he didn’t notice Cassian come up beside him till the captain had him by the arm. Again. He stiffened, vibrating with sudden tension under Cassian’s touch. “I have checks to do. The ship.”

Cassian shook his head and turned Bodhi around slightly. “No. There’s a ‘fresher over there. Make use of it.”

Bodhi frowned. Yes, he was dirty. They all were. None of them had stopped long enough to be anything else. Nor would they. Cassian had told his men to hurry.

Cassian stared at Bodhi’s uncomprehending expression with mild exasperation. “We’re going into Imperial Territory. We need an Imperial shuttle pilot.” He tapped the cog patch on Bodhi’s upper arm. “You need to look the part again. Which means you need to be clean. Now go, just be quick about it.”

“Oh.” The logic of it took a bit to filter through. “Make sense.” So, he had a use after all. Bodhi found himself wondering why they were letting him go along. He wanted to do it. To do right. By Galen. But Kay could flight an entry as easy as Scarif without any help. And K would know imperial protocol just as well too. But droids didn’t pilot solo. They needed him to be a decoy.

Cassian watched the gears turning behind Bodhi’s eyes and raised an eyebrow. “Now?”

Bodhi shook himself, pulling back from the blank space he’s lost himself in. “Yes, of course.” Without waiting for Cassian to have to shove him, he headed towards the fresher.

Like most barracks everywhere Bodhi had ever been, the freshers were unisex, multi-species and pretty much as private as street corner. Fortunately, this one was also mostly empty. He managed to find a corner stall less obvious than the rest. He stripped off, hesitated over his underwear, and dropped those in the clothes fresher too. If he was going to be clean, he might as well be all clean.

Yavin didn’t lack for water and Bodhi found himself luxuriating in it. He hadn’t had a proper water shower since-

Since Eadu. Since the last time he was with Galen.

The thought ambushed him and he gripped the rail, shaking.

Unable to bear it, he rushed through getting clean and turns off the water, sitting down heavily on one of the central benches.

“Force, Bodhi! What happened to you?” Jyn was there all of a sudden, standing over him, looking him over as if he’d grown horns.

“What? Nothing. Just-” another panic attack. Just another realisation that he’s alone in the galaxy again.

“Your back!”

“My back?” Bodhi blinked, suddenly realising what she was talking about. Jyn didn’t care that he was sitting naked on the bench but she had noticed the burn scars that patched across his back, left side, his arms, the backs of his legs.

No-one ever saw the scars any more. No-one ever saw him. He’d forgotten about them. It was strange to think they were still there, even after he’s forgotten them.

“Oh those.” He shook his head. “They’re nothing. Happened a long time ago.”

“Bodhi!” Jyn knelt down in front of him, moving into the eyeline of Bodhi’s down-cast gaze. “Bodhi, even with bacta, those scars can’t be more than a few months old.”

“Oh. Yeah.” He blinked, shaking his head. “I guess so. It seems like a long time. So much has happened.”

“Bodhi, look at me.” She didn’t like the vagueness in his voice, the way his eyes didn’t focus properly. “Tell me what happened?”

Bodhi took a deep breath, pushing his wet hair back from his face. “There was an explosion. On Eadu. Two cargo ships crashed during a storm. We were freeing people when the fuel tank ruptured. My suit was damaged so I burned.”

Jyn’s eyes had grown bright and wide at the mention of Eadu. “Eadu? You were there? My father, was he-?” She swallowed, a lump rising in her throat even at the thought of hearing more about her father in the years they’d lost. “Was he there?”

Bodhi nodded, hating the grief choking his own thoughts. “He wasn’t wearing a flight suit.”

Jyn sucked in a breath. “He got burnt too?” There hadn’t been any sign of it in his message. Had he covered the scars? Had he has more bacta time than Bodhi? Was the hologram touched up to hide them?

Bodhi could see her starting to panic, recognising the symptoms a little too readily. “Jyn, he wasn’t burnt. Just a small patch. Here.” He touched an area on the side of his own too prominent ribcage.

“How? How come he wasn’t burnt? You said he wasn’t wearing a flight suit.” Her voice had grown high and wavering.

He frowned at her, not sure why she wasn’t following. “I covered him.” He stated, as if she’d missed the most obvious point. “He didn’t have a suit. I did. It was torn but it protected us.”

Jyn reared back, looking down at him in wonder and wildness. “You saved him. You saved my father.”

He looked up at Jyn, his eyes dark and full of emotion. “He saved me, Jyn.”

Cassian stuck his head around the door, shouting at them to hurry up. The captain’s words snapped them out of their trance and Bodhi pulled his clothes out of the fresher, all clean and warm. He zipped his flightsuit up to his neck, covering the scars. Making them disappear again.

No-one needed to see them. No-one needed to look at him differently. Not the way Jyn was now.

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to Yakalskovich who is responsible for me writing again. Also for the fact I don't have a sleeping pattern any more. 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated. Frankly, I need the confidence boost.


End file.
